I work around this issue by running multiple tailscaled daemons on different state directories and sockets.

E.g. I have the Tailscale macos application configured for the work network and then I run another tailscale daemon to connect to other home stuff:

    $ alias tailscaled
    tailscaled='sudo tailscaled --socket /Users/mkm/tmp/tailscale-mkm.socket'
    $ alias tailscale

tailscale='tailscale --socket /Users/mkm/tmp/tailscale-mkm.socket'

I installed the tailscale binaries from sources with "go install tailscale.com/cmd/tailscale{,d}@main"