You would know. But I look at old comments when I see good comments dead for no clear reason. I lost track of how many had a few live comments, 1 dead for obvious reasons comment, and all dead comments after.
What are some examples? You might be seeing accounts that we banned, especially if the first dead comment is dead for obvious reasons.
If you see a [dead] post that shouldn't be dead, you can vouch for it by clicking on its timestamp, then clicking 'vouch' at the top of its page. There's a small karma threshold (> 30) before vouch links appear.
It would be nice if I could privately message you on this board since my email account is not associated with my HN account... feels like a violation of privacy.
That's definitely not so.