Sorry, we’re only considering applicants with a proven track record of failing as CEO

Can't risk hiring an amateur and he accidently succeeded.

I've heard it's called falling, er, failing upwards.

If someone's actually willing to pay that for you, you should take the job. If no one is, then you are not even as good as Pat Gelsinger when he doesn't meet his objectives.

I'd do it for free, just for the lulz.